Fear and Loathing and Pirates of the Caribbean

Well, it looks like gun-shy Disney is the first to shy away from the Cinemapocalypse of 2015. Since there are over 20 movies coming out in 2015 with a budget of over $200 mil., it's fixing to be a bloodbath between the major studios, and Disney's been the first to blink. The fifth Pirates, then, will be joining us in 2016.

The official reason for the delay is "issues with the script." I'm inclined to guess that other issues include "issues with Jerry Bruckheimer," "issues with Johnny Depp," "issues with The Lone Ranger," "issues that the American public won't watch quirky Depp performances indefinitely," and "issues that they've already reduced the budget of Pirates 5 after Lone Ranger tanked."

I refer all curious Disney executives who are inexplicably on this blog to check out this handy little chart I made about Pirates movies and their success.

Or you could bank on this never getting old, as you're inclined to do.

Pirates 5 Has a Title But I'm Not Going To Tell You What It Is

Instead I am going to show you this chart about why the Pirates of the Caribbean maritime disaster franchise needs to make like Titanic and sink.

Demonstrating How the Pirate Movies Suck with Statistics