Argento's Dracula Looks Like It Was Shot in My Backyard

And edited on my laptop, no less.

Well, dang. I was pretty excited about the idea of a Dario Argento Dracula. I've always had a soft spot for the Coppola Dracula adaptation and the idea of an equally stylish, excessive, and, yes, violent director taking on the Dracula legend sounded like it could have some real promise. And with Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing? And not Keanu Reeves as Guy Who Gets Eaten By Sexy Vampies #1? Oh yes.

Mr. Reeves, looking confused or mildly disquieted at the sight of vampires.

Unfortunately, the trailer's live, and it's a letdown. The visual affects are on par with Birdemic and the announcement that the whole bloody affair is going to be in 3-D doesn't portend good things. Bad production values, anemic-looking acting, and a bird that looks like it was made with ClipArt mean that we will be holding out for better things from Carrie instead. Don't let us down, Kimberly Peirce.